I am terrible at writing blogs regularly or on ay schedule whatsoever, I know I am not good at it, but I have accepted it and moved on. I will write blogs when I feel I need to, when I want to make some sort of verbal announcement of how I am feeling, just so I can put it into words. So, why today? Why would I want to write a post after I spent all day sweating and am nursing what feels like a sore throat/voice disappearing scratchiness. Well, Today is one of those days that I actually feel proud of myself.
If you suffer from depression or anxiety, maybe both than you know what a victory this is. That’s one of the things this disease takes from you, the ability to be happy or proud of yourself.
Today was my first day of teaching, in my own actual classroom, with my own actual students, in a room that I actually put many hours and many worries into. And honestly, Today was average good, As in, stuff went wrong, the day was bumpy, I saw areas I already know I need to improve one, it was 80 degrees all day in the art room. But. Yes, But. I am so very proud of myself. I planned, I worked, and I made it, I can do this. Moments where I actually feel this way and am not dwelling in self doubt do not happen often in my life/mind, so I am celebrating this victory. I am grateful to everyone who helped get me here, who sacrificed, who comforted my anxieties. I will move on, I will be victorious because Christ is in me and worry will not win.