When will your truth be true?

Healing-Hands[2]

I knew I shouldn’t have went to church today, I felt it. I went anyway. Now don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed meeting the Cambodian girls my church brought to America for training, I loved their desire to better their lives and country for Jesus. This just reminded me how much I would love to go overseas someday on a mission, how I have always felt that calling, how I have always Jonahed my way out of that commitment…but that’s another blog in itself.

I went to Church anyway, sat there awkwardly, listened, opened my heart. The message began, it seemed hopeful initially. Then I realized what message it was, that message I have heard millions of times at 20 different churches, all with their different flavors added to it. You know the one, the give your pain to Christ he will carry your burden. Pain is in your life for a reason, it makes you closer to Christ, it makes you appreciate and depend on Christ. The believe and have faith and God will ease your pain You know this message, the apparently all knowing Matt Walsh knows this message and though your pastor has changed the words some, he has preached this message a million times. It generally ends with an altar call, and/or some individual prayer, standing, singing, wonderful relief.tumblr_niaj1ff4VO1qdqv28o1_1280

Ok…..So what’s the problem with hearing a message more than once? Nothing, but this particular message boils my blood, Like not a little, like angry cry, pitch a fit, throw things. Yes, I am well aware that this type of anger is generally not found in Church, but to me this message highlights one of the largest holes in the modern church. This is a message for the 99%, I get it. It works for those 99%. The give your pain away, its that simple method. Or the accept that you were given pain to learn from it, to better understand Christ’s suffering. I am not saying that the Church is not telling the truth, they are, but if it is not the whole truth  than should the partial truth be said at all. If you can not help the 1%, give the 1% a solution that actually works for them than should it be said at all.

I am the 1%. I have a mental illness. I do fully accept that God can take it away from me when he want to. I have tried these methods. I was once even told that maybe I just hadn’t had the right person pray over me, yet. I am well past giving my PAIN to God, pastor. I have given it to God, with tears, gift wrapped it, with praise, in anger, happiness, and thrown it at Him. I have been anything but unwilling to let my illness go. I have went to the altar, I have had quite a few hands laid on my back, head, etc. I also did the super evangelical revival style of letting my burden go, you know the prayer on the head fall on the floor business. I have not had an exorcism, but honestly I am waiting to hear someone suggest it. So, yeah, I have tried it. This is why this message angers me, it never has worked for me, and I understand pain quite a bit more than that one time you got into a car wreck and thought you were paralyzed. Yeah, I get it, You were scared, you hoped you would die so you wouldn’t be a burden, Been there, done that. Yeah, your nerves hurt you ever once in a while, you have had to have surgery. At least there was some medical relief for you….The medical relief for me just turns me into a walking zombie. Anywayyyysssss, I get you, your pain was/is bad.

Hey Church, don’t preach this message until you have the answer for the rest of us. Us one percent are not feeling this Peace that you speak of at the end of the service. (yeah, we felt it one time, until we walked outside and realized our burden was super glued to our back.)  We feel angry and betrayed, by you, by this God you speak of that is picking up everyone else’s burden’s like they were candy in a Mardi Gras parade. Our burden’s aren’t being picked last pastor man, they aren’t being picked at all. So give us a solution, tell us why we have to keep our burden? No answer? Than maybe you need to reevaluate if your truth is the whole truth, if you should open your mouth at all. We need a new solution, we need a Peter speaking and my disease is gone. That is the solution we need. That is the pastor we need. If your Word is not on that level, than why is anyone accepting it as the Truth you are speaking.. Don’t actions speak louder than words?  I don’t want your watered-down rerecorded message, I want you to speak REAL HEALING. You need fire in your words, you need absolute truth.

Thus says the LORD of hosts, “Do not listen to the words of the prophets who are prophesying to you. They are leading you into futility; They speak a vision of their own imagination, Not from the mouth of the LORD. Jeremiah 23:16

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