Let me write a blog. Let me tell you where I have been at lately.
Well, my being the water resolution has been going about a 3 on a scale of 1-10(10 being the best). I have never been good with New Years resolutions though, so I am just happy to say its not completely at a one. My anxiety has been very high, and my emotions have been cray cray. But even so with that being the case I have been doing some serious life evaluating.
What are we really on here on this earth for? What is the purpose of our life? If I were to take a look all around me and evaluate what I should be striving for than I would see many different versions of the same idea. I should gain more work experience, I should save money, buy a house, have some kids, sit on a church pew, exercise, eat food, consume, produce, move up a ladder, retire and do whatever I want. While I see this all around every moment of the day frankly this idea makes me sick, actually literally sick. Not because I wasn’t raised to appreciate nice things made in foreign countries times by the very immigrants we don’t want America, yes, I still get the rush of the purchase. The sickness of it is still there, the disease of our culture. I hate it, I don’t want it. I don’t want all of the superficial self serving crap/life that I am told I should have to be/look successful. (Let me tell you a secret now: I look at people who have it ‘all’ and I pity that they will never understand their real worth dying for purpose.)
21 Jesus answered, “If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”22 When the young man heard this, he went away sad, because he had great wealth.23 Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Truly I tell you, it is hard for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of heaven. 24 Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God.” Matthew 19:21-24
So, I am sure if you have ever been to a church you have heard this verse spoken from the pulpit, but did you really hear it? What does it mean to be rich in todays world? You may have your own opinions on this, but this chart from the Economist lays it out fairly clearly.
Even the poorest bottom 10% of Americans are richer than almost over half of the world. FYI A quick google search will tell you that the poorest bottom 10% of Americans make $0 to $10,500 a year. I have to be honest I do not know very many people that fit into that bracket. SO. You are rich. You are the very person that Jesus was talking about having a hard time getting into heaven. Wake up.
So where I am going with this? Well, I have been thinking/ avoiding the truth for a while. So my revaluation of my life and Bible reading once again convicts me. My purpose is to serve. This is scary to me, I have a Jonah heart. I know this is my purpose for several reasons though. The number one reason should be I was given a vision around Junior year of High School (I have only told one other person this because of my fear, so here you go), it was not overly dramatic, but during the moment and time I knew exactly what I saw and what it meant for me. The next reason I know my purpose is to serve is that my heart yearns for it, as clique as it sounds every documentary where someone picks up everything and gives their life fully to others makes a connection with my soul that can not adequately be explained in words. (Seriously Blood Brother) And Lastly I know this purpose is true because the Word speaks it …… Jesus speaking to his disciples.
42 Jesus called them together and said, “You know that those who are regarded as rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. 43 Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, 44 and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all. 45 For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”
So clearly it is not just I who has the calling to serve, it is an who themselves a disciple of Christ. This is encouraging because this makes it extremely clear what God wants from us, but discouraging to us in America because we are the Rich man. We must accept this and we must take action, Christ commands us to release our earthly treasure/idea of success and adopt His. I fear that we are all sleeping just as it is mentioned in the book of Revelation chapter 3.
3 “To the angel[a] of the church in Sardis write: These are the words of him who holds the seven spirits[b] of God and the seven stars. I know your deeds; you have a reputation of being alive, but you are dead. 2 Wake up! Strengthen what remains and is about to die, for I have found your deeds unfinished in the sight of my God. 3 Remember, therefore, what you have received and heard; hold it fast, and repent. But if you do not wake up, I will come like a thief, and you will not know at what time I will come to you.
So I do not know what specifically this means for me and my future right now, but I know that I must take steps to wake up to my calling and fulfill the purpose that God has given me.
Painting by: Thomas Saliot