I have been watching a lot of horror movies on Netflix, and honestly, most of them are disappointing. Netflix needs to step up their horror genre game. I am tired of the same old same old. Seems like the only horror movies that Netflix can get their hands on are the top 5 clichés. I am tired of the following, and sadly it seems to be the only options Netflix offers.
Death is for the Dogs
Opening scene introduces two characters. Character one is a human. Character two is a dog. In this opening scene you can assume that the dog will start barking and run off, out of view. This leaves the human going after them into the dark, but not before hearing the dog whimper and yelp. Cut scene: there’s something out there!
The Ferry is for Fairies
Opening scene is on a ferry with a set list of characters. In this open scene you can assume the characters are doomed from the start, headed to a remote island town with no cell service, and power outages so regular that one of the locals mentions power outages right off the bat either on the boat or shortly after arriving on the island. Will they make it through the night?
First time home Owner
This plot has no specific opening scene, but we can already assume that this lovely cookie cutter couple is in for a scare. They bought the wrong house. What could possibly go wrong? They have flood insurance. This genre of movie strives desperately to follow the footsteps of movies like Poltergeist but fall so short that they are on their bellies at the starting line. These movies are slow, no matter how much of a steel the house was per square foot. We get it… the house was cheap because there is EVIL a foot. Literally… per square foot.
POV in General
It seems like POV makes up half of today’s horror and honestly, I am tired of it. I understand that it takes talent to execute a strong POV horror film. But let’s be honest, if the cinematographer keeps the angles extremely off center or shaky causing you to constantly ask what is even happening, then chances are it’s a poorly scripted film relying on cheap tricks rather than talent. These films are taking what made JAWS so great (never getting a good look at the shark) and turning into a bad pun (never getting a good look at the entire film).
This is the worst type of horror that seems to be flooding Netflix right now. I feel like a broken record here, but we get it. The feminist movement is alive. You go girl. Happy for you, really… but that doesn’t mean we need this type of constant predictable dribble. A would-be helpless girl finds herself all alone and vulnerable in a sadistic fight against the manliest brute that ever walked the face of the earth. We get it… girl power is a thing, but I am sorry, most women would not stand a chance in a fist fight one on one against someone like Andre the Giant. It just isn’t going to happen. But according to this genre of movie, statistically speaking, every woman has a change so long as they know how to swing a flimsy wicker chair.
All I want to know is, what happened to good creative horror and where is it? Because it’s obviously not on Netflix.